Previous events have shown that it’s all too easy for me to forget something crucial at the last minute. Now I try too hard to keep the crucial things in mind and miss most of what’s going on. If there hasn’t been a last minute in a long, long time, just an unbroken stretch of days in which nothing has been remarkable, does that mean I can stop remembering something crucial?
I remember pleading for boredom, making bargains. Give me quiet, give me uneventful. I’ll never ask for another exciting plot development again. Make the noise stop. Even out the graph. Let’s see a diagnosis of benign, for once. I want to wake up with a normal life. I’d rather be mundane than excitingly stupid.
In other news, from the humble beginnings of nothing special my masterpiece of maybe/maybe not is taking shape.
Right now I need to be alone because I have some resigned expressions to practice in the mirror. Resigned expressions are proof that I’m not terrified. I don’t look resigned when I’m waiting for a piano to drop on my head. Resigned is after the fact, very safely and pleasantly after the fact. Resigned is the reaction to small losses.
Resigned beats heartbroken every time.
I always used to fantasize about life becoming less eventful so I’d have time to work on stuff like this:
