Photo by darkmatter.

Gertrude and I are walking down Pacific Avenue together, talking of this and that. Suddenly I grab her arm and pull her close. “Don’t look now, but your boyfriend is standing on the corner,” I hiss. She looks, and there he is, a magnificent masculine specimen. He’s wearing a tie-dyed tank top and grubby khaki [...]

I spent most of the weekend at a cabin in the woods, where my sister, Gertrude*, lives in sweet domestic harmony with her lover, Gaylord*. They are studious and lascivious creatures, and often sit at the kitchen table leafing through reference books while idly feeling each other up. The two have big plans for their [...]