My vacation in the Carolinas with the parents was a turning point in our relationship, a long-delayed reacquaintance and reconciliation. Also, we had fun.

While we were having fun, I was imagining the lovingly detailed post I’d write about this trip, and the captions I’d write for the 500 or so pictures I was taking. But then a certain baby decided to be born early, and I got distracted.

Before I go any further, I have to tell you everybody’s real names. It’s one thing to refer to my sister as “Gertrude,” but it’s entirely another to rename her baby. He’s far too young for a pseudonym!

“Gertrude” is Joye, and her partner “Gaylord” is Nathan. And now they have the darlingest baby in the world, whose name is (really) Jasper.

I was fortunate enough to be present for his birth, which I have promised not to publish to my Flickr account. (Not that I would have, but put up a few pictures of people with their mouths bulging with French toast and they lose all faith in your discretion.) You’ll have to take my word for it- watching Jasper get born was SO COOL. I spent much of the next few days looking at pictures of Jasper and crying. The happy kind, with the laughing at the same time. His sheer preciousness, Joye’s strength and grace, and Nathan’s gentle support have left me amazed.

I planned to make several posts out of everything that’s happened to me in the past month, but so far I’ve only been capable of blubbering, grinning, sleeping, and uttering Hallmark-worthy sentences. I need a few more days before I pull out all the stops. But I didn’t want to leave anyone in the dark about Jasper.

I also wanted to warn everyone that SQUIDS ARE TAKING OVER!

According to The Sentinel, “the squid’s range has expanded because fishing has reduced the populations of predators such as large tuna, marlins and swordfish that eat them in their natural range off South America. Similarly, some smaller species of tuna, which compete for squid for food, also have been reduced.”

In other words, it’s just like Joye always suspected. Give the squids an inch and they’ll take a mile. Thanks to the damage humans have done to the world’s oceans, sweet little babies are being born into a world increasingly threatened by “aggressive, pugnacious bullies,” as an MBARI scientist called them in the Sentinel article.

But don’t worry, because everything’s going to be all right. I had a dream last night! Everyone I know was at a picnic, and I mean everyone. The sky was blue, the grass was green, and we were all eating cake. As soon as I got to work this morning, I looked up the meaning of cake on wordiq.com, and got this:

CAKE
Interpretation: If you dream of eating cake, you will have success in an upcoming endeavor.

You were all there, eating cake, so that applies to every single one of you. Whatever it is, I advise you to go for it. It could turn out even better than you expect.

My dad does some killer origami with candy wrappers.